I have no idea if this is the right place to post this and I don't even know if you'll consider what I'm writing but I thought I'd give it a shot.
I've been doing some research to find you and this time I hope it'll finally pay off.
First of all I don't really listen to your music. I like it but it's not my favorite type of music since I'm more into metal. But I have a sweet, sweet girlfriend who's been listening to you for as long as I can remember. She's got your albums, your t-shirts, yes, even posters with you (they're hanging besides her posters with Johnny Depp, and god, am I just jealous? She has no pictures of me hanging there) Anyways, I've been thinking about how to surprise her, show her a thing that says that I really love her and I'd do anything for her and after loads of thinking (I'm not a smart guy, so it took me a while) I came to the conclusion: if I want to impress her I'll have to do something no one else has ever done for her, something that really proves that I stand out of the long and boring line of regular types. And if I was to do that I'd have to dig deep and show some interest for her interests, and since you're what fills her head the most (next to Depp and I) I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. So The Prodigy, I'm not a smart or good looking guy. I'm not rich at all, nor have I a fancy talent, but I love my girlfriend 'till the end. So would you, The Prodigy, would you please do me a favor? Give her an autograph, send her a video with you talking, just ANYTHING. As long as you just remember to say out her name, or write it, and tell her that I love her. Otherwise than that you can pretty much do whatever you'd like to.
I bet you get thousands of these messages from crazy fans and I'm sorry to disappoint you with not being one, but I'm a man with a great heart and a strong will, so The Prodigy, if you care to help me with a surprise as this I'd be forever in debt to you.
If you could just mail me the answer, please