Jockey Slut

An interview with Liam Howlett

• 3rd March 1999

Is it a DJ's job to educate or entertain? 
Nowadays a DJ is someone who gets too much respect and money for playing other people's music. People have forgotten about the days of Grandmaster Flash and people with skills on the turntables. My mix is inspired by the old hip hop chop mixes by Double D and Steinski, Coldcut's late eighties mixes, and Grandmaster Flash's "Adventures on The Wheels Of Steel" which was one of the first tracks I bought. 

Things would you demand if you had a Junior Vasquez-style DJ booth built? 
I'd have a set of curtains on the front so I didn't have to look at the sweaty crowd, bottles of Tequila and all my mates there so we could have our own party. 

Favourite DJ at the moment? 
MixMaster Mike 

Favourite Beastie Boys track? 
'So whatcha' want? 

Why are there no youth tribes anymore? 
Ten years ago ravers were ravers and rock festivals played rock and folk festivals, folk. But now music's gelled and Ecstasy's killed off football violence and culture clashes – which is no bad thing. 

What inspires your hairstyles? 
Am I the right person to be answering this? I got into the snowboarding thing I had my hair blonde. Now I'm in a goth mode. Nah, the blonde was played out for me so I blacked out. 

Which bands should head a rave revival tour in 2011? 
N-Joi I liked. Adamski and Frankie Bones Djing. 

Any boyz' Own dreams to fulfil like Keith the Ducati kid? 
I'm into the motors. I built a turbo Porsche to go racing in on track. So when the weather comes round, that's what I'm going to do. Keith's a fuckin' good rider. He could go on to do it professionally. 

When you were a young lad did you masturbate over your U.S. label boss, Madonna? 
Not Madonna, no. No pop people, just teachers an' shit like that. 

Are promo videos the new rock n' roll? 
Absolutely not. Even Brian Adams could do a good video. It's someone else bringing the vibe, that's why when we do videos we get involved in the direction. I feel like I've co–directed "Firestarter", "Poison", "Start the dance" and "Breathe". 

Favourite classical music? 
Bullseye theme tune. I'd love to go in a bar and rattle that off on a piano. 

Favourite album sleeve? 
AC/DC – If you want blood. 

Would you get a nip and tuck when you're older? 
I can't see myself having a hair transplant or a face–lift but I'd do something to my stomach to make sure I don't get a beer belly. 

Do you get recognized in the street? 
People who recognize me are people who are into the band. I don't get grannies coming up to me going "Ooh fucking hell". Keith does. 

If a granny did come up to you and go "Ooh fucking hell" what would you say back? 
I'd give her respect. 

Perfect evening in? 
A bit of porn. A Peter North classic. I'm not fussy about the birds. I just do normal shit at home, watch Eastenders, get stoned. 

Favourite scene in a film? 
Casino's my favourite film and I can think of a number of scenes. The bit where Pesci stabs him in the neck, "Is this you're fuckin' pen?" When De Niro calls Sharon Stone a cunt, "CUNT!" Great film. 

What genre of film would you like to score? 
I have actually come up with a script for a cool film which I need to get someone to write with me. I'd like to write the music, direct and cast it. It would be great to come up with a wicked cast of people you don't expect to see in films. 

Who should replace Denis Van Outen on the Big Breakfast? 
She leaving? Johnny should do it on his own. They should go together and do something else because he's wasted on that programme. Denise is wicked too, I really liked that. 'Babes In The Wood', thought it was funny. I liked the bird who played the stupid one. 

What's the most eccentric thing you've bought with your money? 
When I was twelve I saved up for weeks to get fifty quid for a Ninja suit and sword. I only put it on every now and then. I was gutted I'd wasted the money. 

What's the most eccentric thing you've bought with your proper money? 
I bought an eight foot high coffin which is a drinks cabinet. It sounds tacky but it's actually a class piece of furniture. I bought a Jacuzzi which I used two times but then sold to my manager. 

Have you ever ridden a horse? 
Yeah, once fourteen years ago when my Dad took us to Cornwall to this Shirehorse centre to trek along the coast line. My Dad's girlfreind fell off a horse a year ago and fucked herself up so these days I don't get on anything that hasn't got an engine.

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• Snowboarding
• Beastie Boys
• Madonna
• Liam Howlett