Prodigy explains the the title of their newest album, Smack My Bitch Up.
FIRST MP: So. Gentlemen. We've received a number of complaints about this - single. They say it's misogynist, and encourages violence against women. What do you have to say to that ?
KEITH: I can see how they might reckon it's anti women but I don't see how it's misogynist.
LEEROY: Go on, Liam. You explain it to the man.
LIAM: Why do I always have to fuckin' explain it ?
MAXIM: We keep telling you, cos you're the brains of the band.
LEEROY: Yeah, Liam. Tell it to the people.
KEITH: S'right, Liam. Make some fuckin' noise.
SECOND MP: We're waiting.
LIAM: All right. Obviously, I'm not literally saying people should go home and smack their bitches up.
KEITH: No, I am. I'm the singer, you see. Liam's the pianist.
LEEROY: Penis ! Hahaha !
LIAM: Will you fuckin' shattap ? The point is, the lyric's not meant to be taken, like, literally.
KEITH: Oh. Right.
SECOND MP: So why didn't you call it 'Don't Smack My Bitch Up' ?
LEEROY: He's got a point there, Liam.
LIAM: Because - it's taken from a sample. That's right. It's a sample from the Ultramagnetic MCs. There. Not us at all.
THIRD MP: So, if you'd have sampled anti-Semitic remarks from an old Hitler speech, that would have been all right because it was Hitler saying it, not you ?
LIAM: Yeah ! No ! I mean -
FIRST MP: Incidentally, why did you quote from an old speech by Hermann Goering on the inside sleeve of your long-playing record ?
LEEROY: Well. Tell him, Liam.
LIAM: Look ! Obviously, we're not Nazis, otherwise we wouldn't have black people in the band, would we ?
MAXIM: Yeah. But we haven't got any Jewish people in the band, have we ?
KEITH: That's a fair point.
LEEROY: Anyway, Josef Goebbels was black, wasn't he ? He was a Nazi.
MAXIM: No, mate. It was Charlie Parker who was black.
LEEROY: Oh, yeah. I knew it was one or the other.
LIAM: Will you fuckin' shatt'ap ?!
SECOND MP:Gentlemen, could we get back to the matter in hand ?
KEITH: Yeah, Liam. Answer the questions. You're digging us in a hole, here.
LIAM: Look. I've one thing to say. We, the Prodigy, are wholeheartedly, categorically, utterly, wholegorically and completely utterly opposed to violence against women in any shape, way, form or manner. There.
FIRST MP: So why does Keith sing 'Smack My Bitch Up' ?
KEITH: "I voz only obeyink orders like a good Nazi," hahahahahaha !
LIAM: Because - because ! Look ! Sometimes when we say "bitch", we don't necessarily mean it in reference to women !
MAXIM: Yeah. Sometimes it can mean "female dog".
LIAM: Good point, Maxim ! That's right. It could have been a song about somebody who - who owns a dog. And it's a bad dog, that refuses to sit or fetch and chews up the newspaper - and you have to discipline that dog. "Bad dog, bad dog !" you say, and you have to - give it a smack.
LEEROY: Only that's not what it's about at all, is it, Liam ?
LIAM: I'm just saying it might be !
FIRST MP: Wife battery is a very serious business, gentlemen.
KEITH: It'd be good if all wives had batteries. Then you could switch 'em off when they started yapping.
LIAM: Yeah, heh-heh. I mean - er - look ! No one takes this issue more seriously than the Prodigy. But no one could think we mean for geezers to smack their bitches up, it's meant to be ironic !
SECOND MP: Because men who beat up their wives are noted for their wry sense of irony, aren't they ?
THIRD MP: Why don't you come clean and admit this single is just a pathetic, irresponsible attempt to whip up some controversy ?
LIAM: That's fuckin' outrageous ! And if you think I or the band in any way hope to gain publicity from these proceedings, which I understand are being televised live, then you're mistaken. I repeat again, 'Smack My Bitch Up', available in all formats from good record stores, with bonus remixes and gatefold vinyl sleeve, you know it makes sense, kids is...
FIRST MP: Sorry, guys. That was the PM. The single's been banned.
LIAM:Banned ? But - we've explained, it's not misogynist, it's...
FIRST MP: It's not that. The Canine Protection League are up in arms. All that "bad dog" stuff. If it had just been the battered wives crowd you might have got away with it but the dog people... they're the lobbying group in this country. Sorry.
LIAM: Stupid... bitches ! Doh !...